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FLAMEBIRD
Issue #2: "Cavalier Attitiude"
"Wait! I know that head!"
Matt Logan is used to his new friend, Bette Kane saying unusual things, but that pronouncement even catches him off guard. Nevertheless, he follows behind her as she rushes into a building on the UCLA campus. He catches up to her in a dark hallway.
"What are you doing here, Prodigy? Are you planning another "wooing session" with Hannah Laszlo?*" Bette is asking, trying to stay shrouded in a dark corner so Prodigy cannot see that she is out of costume.
* Like he did last issue - DT
"No, Miss Kane...."
She cuts him off. "How did you know that?"
"Flamebird, I'm a tennis enthusiast and a genius. I knew who you were the second you attacked me. To answer your question, I have realized the error of pursuing Hannah Laszlo. I am actually going to my lab. It's in this building," Eugene Weiner, the pseudo-villian known as Prodigy replies.
"Didn't they take you to jail?"
"Yes, but you'd be amazed how persuasive pharmaceutical companies can be when they're told that someone who's brilliant enough to create a formula to accidentally bestow telekinteic powers on himself was close to creating a drug to increase muscle size." He pauses. "Besides, I really didn't do anything illegal and Ms. Laszlo did not press charges."
"You're a genius, right Prodigy?" Matt interrupts.
"So , I'm told. And my name is Eugene. Mister...."
"Logan, Matt Logan. So are you any good at Trigonometry?"
"Mastered it in grade school. Why do you ask?"
"Wanna go to Bette's place and see her etchings?"
"Matt!" Bette squeals at him.
"It's OK, Flamebird. I would be more than happy to help your friend with his studies."
"It's Bette, Eugene." She pauses. "No offense, but that's kind of nerdy. How about we call you Gene?"
"I'd like that. You have no idea how cruel it was of my parents to name me Eugene. Especially with a last name like Weiner. I think I was doomed to nerd-dom"
"Well, we'll have to work on that, Gene. You wouldn't have happened to have mastered world history in grade school?"
Gene laughs. "Of course."
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A figure reads a newspaper. A second later, he crumples the newspaper and throws it at a wall.
"I cannot believe the affrontery of these fools. They will learn to sully my good name. They will learn that I am not one to be trifiled with. They will all learn."
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A bit later, Bette and Matt are sitting in Bette's living room. They both turn as the door bursts open and Misty enters.
"I got the part!" Misty screams as she enters. "I got a pilot."
"Way to go, Misty," Bette tells her. "What's the show about?"
"You are looking at the new...." Misty trails off as Gene walks out of the restroom. "Why is there a supervillian coming out of my bathroom?"
"I am forever being misunderstood by beautiful women." Gene walks over to her and extends his hand. "Eugene..." Bette coughs pointedly. "Gene Weiner, former arch foe, now staunch ally and history tutor of Flamebird."
Misty laughs. "Hi. Misty Collins. Nice to meet you."
"So what's the part, Misty?" Matt asks her.
Misty assumes a serious look on her face and begins moving towards Matt swinging her hand as if she has a sword in it. "Beware, evil doer, you now face the crimefighting cheesecake known as.... Rapier Girl!!!"
"What's a Rapier Girl?" Bette asks.
"Is that anything like a Flame Girl?" Matt asks.
"Bite me, Logan." Bette retorts.
"I'm going to be the sidekick on a superhero show, The Cavalier. You know, like the Sandman show they had in the 60's. Retro's in, so they thought that maybe a camp TV superhero show might work." Misty replies.
"Holy remakes, Sandman!" Matt says in a mocking tone. "I used to watch that show everyday when I was a kid. I think it's still in reruns."
"Me, too," Misty replies. "This has got to be the best thing that's ever happened to me"
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"This has got to be the worse thing that's ever happened to me."
Misty is speaking into a folding cellular phone while a doctor looks at her ankle. "Yeah, Bette. I was doing this scene where I had to jump on a board and the board broke. I think I twisted my ankle. Ouch!"
"Sorry." The doctor says to her.
"Anyway, it's weird. A bunch of accidents have happened since we started shooting. Gosh, I only wish I knew someone who could help me figure out what's going on. Someone with a detective background...." She pauses, listening for a second and then laughs. "Great. That's why you're a real heroine. I'll tell you more tonight." Misty shuts the cell phone and puts it down.
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"This was cut, Misty."
Bette is examining two pieces of a long wood plank. "Look at how clean the edges are. Someone cut this so it would collapse when you jumped on it."
"Why would someone do that?"
"I don't know. I haven't done anything to anyone. But like I told you on the phone, a lot of strange stuff has been going on lately. The lead actor got food poisoned yesterday. That's why we were shooting my scenes today."
"It looks like someone's trying to sabatoge your show. Are they shooting tomorrow?"
"Yeah, they're going to shoot so I don't have to stand, have me tied up or something. Why?"
"Because I'm guessing our mystery person will be trying to set something up. I think I'll go take a look around at the studio tonight."
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Bette, now in costume hangs upside down from a cord. She is holding the rope with her legs and is messing with the latch of a window. Finally she gets it open and releases the cord, grabs the ledge of the window and slides inside in one acrobatic motion. Sitting with on the ledge with her body inside and her legs hanging outside, she spots a support beam on the roof. She fires a line into the beam, pulls her legs inside and swings down to the floor.
"I'm getting good at this." She says to herself, smiling. She reaches to her belt and pulls out a flashlight. She is looking around when she hears a door start to open. She turns off the light and darts into a corner.
A second later, the lights on the soundstage are turned on and standing there is the Cavelier. The foppishly dressed Batman villian looks around for a moment and then walks towards a table in the side of the room. He pulls a a prop rapier off of the table and begins to remove the protective covering on the tip of the blade.
"Pretty far from Gotham, huh, Cavelier? I never saw you as a west coast kind of guy." Flamebird says as she emerges from hiding.
"Do not interfere with me, girl. I do not wish to hurt you." the villian replies.
"I would, but I can't let you fix that sword to hurt someone.What do you have against this show, anyway? It's just a sitcom."
"These fools deserve to be hurt, for besmirching me and my name. I am no fop to be laughed at. I have battled the Batman to a standstill. This production is a mockery of me and all I stand for. It is a matter of honor and respect."
"You need to lighten up. Don't take yourself so seriously." she replies. "Now come along with me now and maybe we can find a way to fix this without anyone else getting hurt."
"I think not. I will not strike you, as I would not lower myself to attacking a woman. However, I will not be taken by you."
"Lower yourself? Chauvinistic much?" Bette says as she pulls a bolo from her belt and fires it at the villian. He tosses the prop rapier away and easily strikes the bolo aside with his real sword before the balls can wrap around him.
"I did not wish to harm you, but I see you will give me no choice." He kicks the prop rapier over to her. "Engarde"
"Not very chivalrous of you to challenge a woman who's not as experienced as you to a duel." She says and strikes a surprisingly competant looking stance. He seems to almost be confused by her lack of reluctance to duel.
"I had expected you to back down. I have no wish to battle a woman." He replies.
"I told you, that isn't happening."
"Very well. Try if you must." He says, almost seeming to be unhappy at the concept. She darts forwards and tries a riposte with the rapier, which he bats away without any real effort. Flamebird strikes furiously, exerting serious effort, btu he counters effortlessly. After a few moments, he backs away, pulls a scarf from his sleeve and drops it hard to the ground. The scarf explodes into a cloud of dust and when the dust clears he is gone.
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"Release Rapier Girl right now or feel my blade, Questioner."
The person saying this is the actor who is playing the television Cavelier. He's actually dressed mroe like a Musketeer than the real Cavelier, with a white shirt and blue hose with a blue tabard, with a fleur de leis on it.
"Hurry, Cavelier." Misty says in costume, a revealing skintight version of the television Cavelier's cosutume. She surrounded by several women in black costumes and ski masks with question marks on them. Behind her stands an older man in a college graduate's cap & gown.
"Never!" the older man, playing the villain of the show, the Questioner says. He gestures to the girls around him. "Co-eds! Get him."
The girls in the black costumes take agressive stances and stand between "The Cavelier" and Misty. One of the girls stays by Misty. Suddenly, a sandbag falls on the actor playing the Cavelier and he falls down. A white plume falls to the ground near him.
The real Cavelier stands behind where the actor had been. "You did not respond to my warnings so now you must pay the price.I will not be treated with such disrespect." The Cavelier raises his sword and swings it downward. Before it can hit the actor, it is struck aside by a Birdarang.
The girl who had stayed next to Misty pulls of her mask and it's Flamebird. "I told you, Cavalier, I wouldn't let you hurt anyone." She pulls at the black outfit and it tears away to reveal her costume underneath. She takes an agressive fighting stance.
But before another blow can be struck, a youngish man who had been watching the shooting runs to the forefront. "Are you the real Cavalier? The one who fought Batman? I am like you biggest fan."
"Who might you be?" The Cavalier asks, clearly surprised.
"I'm Joey DeMaio. I created this show. The network wanted me to base it on some lame old hero like Batman or Mr. Terrific, but I made it about you as a homage, not to be disrespectful."
"A homage?" Flamebird asks. "You made a homage to a villian?"
"I am not a villian, only misunderstood."
"I'm sure the Joker thinks he's just misunderstood as well." Flamebird replies.
The Cavalier does not respond for a moment. Then he bows to first to Joey DeMaio and then to Flamebird. "This is acceptable to me. I will not trouble you further." He walks away.
Flamebird is about to follow him, but is stopped by Joey DeMaio."What?" she asks.
"Let him go, please. We never paid him for the rights to use his name. He could sue us if we caused a problem with him. He could even shut this show down."
Flamebird considers this for a moment looking over at Misty. "OK, fine." She fires a line at an open skylight. "Only in Hollywood."
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Bette is on her balcony, sipping a beer and staring off into space. Misty joins her.
"You did the right thing, Bette."
"I know. Not just because your show could get sued. That's not what I'm thinking about." She pauses, "He would have killed me, Misty. I didn't want to fight him. How can I be a heroine when I think like that?"
"It's smarter to know you have limitations than be foolishly brave, Bette. Don't worry about it. You did the right thing today. That's all that matters."
"I guess." Seeing that Bette wants to be alone, Misty goes back into the apartment. Bette takes another drink from her beer. "I guess."
NEXT ISSUE: Matt gets a job and the gang goes out to see him. But work and play mix when an old friend of Bette's shows up. Be here next issue for "Dream Date with Nightwing"
AUTHOR'S NOTE
I want to apolgize in advance if my portrayal of the Cavelier is a bit cliched and innaccurate here. After I came up with this storyline and posted it as being in this issue (in fact it was half written), I found out that the Cavelier has been portayed much more seriously in a storyline in the Bat books. My portrayal here is much more based on the Pre Crisis version. I was unaware that he had been revamped.
Another note: Since Batman did not exist in the DCU in the 60's for there to be a TV show and there have been jokes in the DCU based on Robin's TV speech patterns("Holy whatever, Batman") I decided to retcon a Sandman (with Sandy the Golden Boy) TV show into its place.